Joke Type: wordplay

Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Mother’s Unexpected Backyard Activities

    Salesman to boy answering the door… “Hi, is your mother in?”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “Yes,” said the boy, “she’s out in the back yard screwing the goat.”

    “I don’t believe it,” said the salesman.

    The boy says: “Come and see for yourself.”

    So the salesman looked in the back yard, and sure enough, there was the goat screwing the mother.

    The salesman said to the boy, “Isn’t she afraid she’ll get pregnant?”

    The boy says… “N-a-a-a-a-a-a-“

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  • Bob Peters’ Unfortunate Barbershop Visit

    A man was looking all over town to find a friend of his. He walked down the street and came to a barber shop. He stuck his head inside and asked, “Bob Peters here?”

    The barber replied, “Nah, we just do shaves and haircuts.”

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  • Smothered Chicken

    As my husband ordered the smothered chicken, I thought to myself, “Boy, it sure took a sick bastard to discover the meat had a special flavor when oxygen-deprived.”

  • Nguyen-Nguyen Situation

    My boss decided to hire two Vietnamese brothers instead of one.

    It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

  • My Dog Is Really Smart

    My dog is really smart.

    I asked him, “What’s two minus two?”

    He said nothing.

  • Where I Draw the Line

    I do a lot of illegal things…

    But graffiti is where I draw the line.

  • A Huge Penis

    My girlfriend ran away screaming when she saw I had a huge penis.

    Now the police are involved asking weird questions like “Who does it belong to?” and “Where is the rest of him?”

  • Samuel L Jackson 5

    Samuel L Jackson 5

    Featuring some of their greatest hits

    1. I’ll Be There Motherfucker

    2. ABC Motherfucker

    3. Dancing Motherfucking Machine

    4. Motherfucker I Want You Back

    The Samuel L. Jackson 5

    Ezekiel 25:17

    FutherMuckin Management

    Hollywood, California

    WB RECORDS

  • Mattresses Prefer Overweight People

    Why do mattresses prefer overweight people?

    They leave a big impression.