Joke Type: wordplay

Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Epiphany

    I had an epiphany today: I finally realized what the word epiphany means.

  • The Mystery of Missing Female Keebler Elves

    It’s occurred to me in the last few days, after listening to and seeing all of the Keebler commercials, just why there’s never any female elves pictured. Then it came to me: They’re all fudge-packers.

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  • Salsa Class Misunderstanding

    Salsa Class Misunderstanding

    Instructor: Welcome to salsa class! Who’s ready to learn how to dance?

    Me, hiding a bag of tortilla chips: There’s been a misunderstanding.

  • Hitting the Bottle Again

    After five years on the wagon, my friend Natasha started hitting the bottle again. I just have to remember that it’s a sickness, not a weakness, to be addicted to artificially blonde hair.

  • Makes Your Day

    Q: What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

    A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

  • She Had a Grant and She Blew It

    I hear Divine Brown has decided to take herself out of the downtown Hollywood life and get herself an education.

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    She took up a psychology course at her local university, but alas, she had to drop out due to lack of funds. Well, she had a grant and she blew it.

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  • Hard Pour Corn vs Soft Pour Corn

    Hard Pour Corn vs Soft Pour Corn

    Hard pour corn vs. soft pour corn

  • Stationery Bike

    To get into better shape, I treated myself to a new piece of exercise equipment. It looks real pretty with my name and address on it, but the paper cuts are killing me. I guess I should have done more research before getting a stationery bike.

  • Sex Worker’s Bleeding Problem Baffles Doctor

    A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up. “Any specific problems you should tell me about?” the doctor asked.

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    “Well, I have noticed lately that if I get even the tiniest cut, it seems to bleed for hours,” she replied. “Do you think I might be a haemophiliac?”

    “Well,” the doctor answered, “Haemophilia is a genetic disorder and it is more often found in men, but it is possible for a woman to be a haemophiliac. Tell me, how much do you lose when you have your period?”

    After calculating for a moment, the hooker replied, “Oh, about seven or eight hundred dollars, I guess.”

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  • External Combustion Engine

    I wonder how many limbs the guys who invented the external combustion engine lost before they decided to go with the internal idea.