Joke Type: wordplay

Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Y2KY Jelly

    The manufacturers of KY Jelly have announced that their product is now fully Year 2000 compliant.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    In the light of this they have now renamed it as: Y2KY Jelly.

    Said a spokesman: “The main benefit of this revision to our product, is that you can now insert four digits into your date instead of two.”

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  • How Many Perverts Does It Take to Put in a Light Bulb and Other One-Liners

    How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
    Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis in a knot?
    “How come?”

    What’s the definition of a teenager?
    God’s punishment for enjoying sex.

    Did you hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
    They’ll never see you coming.

    What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
    S&M&M.

    What does Kodak film have in common with a condom?
    They both capture that special moment.

    Define Transvestite:
    A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!

    Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
    The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

    What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders?
    A scrotum pole!

    What’s the ultimate in rejection?
    When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

    Why don’t debutantes go to orgies?
    There’d be too many thank you notes to write.

    What is every Amish woman’s private fantasy?
    Two Mennonite!

    Why is sex like a game of bridge?
    If you have a good hand, you don’t need a partner.

    Can you say three two letter words that denote small?
    Is it in?

    What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
    A bingo machine.

    What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
    One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

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  • Eats Shoots and Leaves

    A prostitute enters a pub and notices a Panda bear sitting at the end of the bar. After a little small-talk and flirting, the panda bear goes home with her. They frolic all night long. The next morning, the Panda gets up and wanders towards the door. “HEY! Where are you going?” yells the prostitute. “I haven’t been paid!”

    Realizing that he is a Panda bear and might not understand, she reaches for a dictionary and looks up prostitute.

    She shows him the definition: PROSTITUTE (pros’ti toot) n. A woman who performs sexual services for money.

    The Panda bear looks at her and then grabs the dictionary. He shows her a definition: PANDA BEAR (pan der bare) n. Eats shoots and leaves.

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  • Monopoly One Company

    Monopoly One Company

  • Above Knee

    Above Knee

  • Named Her Grandma

    Named Her Grandma

    katie @skatie420

    [showing off my new baby] we named her after my grandmother, her name is Grandma.

    7:48 AM · 20 Apr 22 · Twitter for iPhone

    380 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 3,939 Likes

  • Deliver Baby Keep Liver

    Deliver Baby Keep Liver

    I’m going to deliver the baby

    Actually, we’d like him to keep his liver

  • Interview Biggest Weakness

    Interview Biggest Weakness

    Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?

    Me: I’d say my biggest weakness is listening.

  • An Orgy

    Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out.

    “If I gave you $200,” the teacher began, “and you gave $50 to Mary, $50 to Sally and $50 to Susan, what would you have?”

    “An orgy,” Johnny answered.

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  • Sodium Joke NaBrO

    Sodium Joke NaBrO

    Want to hear a joke about Sodium?

    Na.

    Want to hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite?

    NaBrO.