Joke Type: wordplay

Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • The Wedding Night Request

    A Chinese immigrant couple just got married.

    On their wedding night, the groom decided to ask his bride what she wanted to do first.

    She thought about it, then excitedly said, “69! I wanna try 69!”

    Groom: “You want chicken with broccoli?”

  • It Was a French Toast

    I was the best man at my brother’s wedding in Paris. At the reception, I raised my champagne glass and said, “Eggs, cinnamon, bread, and maple syrup…”

    It was a French toast.

  • The Doctor Visit

    Patient: “Doc, my bum hurts…”

    Doctor: “Where specifically does it hurt?”

    Patient: “Right around the entrance.”

    Doctor: “Yeah well that’s the exit. As long as you think it’s an entrance, it’ll continue to hurt.”

  • Little Johnny Uses a Big Word

    Little Johnny was asked to use the word “obituary” in a sentence by the teacher…

    So Johnny thought for a second and then said, “Oh bitch, you worry about me finishing my homework too much!”

  • Why They Charge for Air

    The wife and I took a long, leisurely drive out to the country and pulled over to fill up our car’s gas tank and tires…

    She was surprised to see that the station had a fee to fill the tires and asked me, “Why in the world do they charge for AIR?!”

    I responded, “Inflation.”

  • The Penfish Is Even Mightier

    The swordfish has no natural predators to fear from…

    …except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.

  • I’m Finally a Groan Man

    I just turned 40 and I groan every time I get up now.

    I’m finally a groan man.

  • At Least 8 Characters and One Capital

    During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

    MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyLondon

    When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

  • Put Me Down for a Five

    Police have been called to an apartment, and upon arrival find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The detective asks, “Ma’am, is that your husband?”

    “Yes,” says the woman.

    “Did you hit him with that golf club?”

    “Yes, yes, I did.”

    The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.

    “How many times did you hit him?”

    “I don’t know — put me down for a five.”

  • It Folded

    After I invested all my spare cash into an origami business, it folded.