Wordplay Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

When It Comes to Their Pessimism

When it comes to their pessimism, every pessimist is an optimist.

They shouldn’t call them farts; they should call them assertations.

November 13th is World Kindness Day. November 16th is International Day for Tolerance. Trust me, you do NOT want to confuse them.

Today’s intelligence world changes so rapidly; it’s all the CIA can do to pretend not to keep up.

Hey, People Magazine! Unless you’re worried about angry letters from necrophiliacs, you can just say “Sexiest Man.”

My wife emailed me the pictures from our first trip together, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

Why is a small cruise ship like a guy suffering from premature ejaculation?

Both of them only need a couple of tugs.

Three men enter a bar in the USSR. One says, “Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?”

The other says, “Because he was afraid of capitalism.”

The whole bar died laughing.

Three men enter a bar in the USSR. One says, “Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?”

The other one says, “Because he was afraid of capitalism.”

The whole bar died laughing.

How do you respond to someone calling you a grammar Nazi?

You call them antisemantic!