My girlfriend ran away screaming when she saw I had a huge penis.
Now the police are involved asking weird questions like “Who does it belong to?” and “Where is the rest of him?”
Joke Type: wordplay
Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Samuel L Jackson 5
Featuring some of their greatest hits
1. I’ll Be There Motherfucker
2. ABC Motherfucker
3. Dancing Motherfucking Machine
4. Motherfucker I Want You Back
The Samuel L. Jackson 5
Ezekiel 25:17
FutherMuckin Management
Hollywood, California
WB RECORDS
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Mattresses Prefer Overweight People
Why do mattresses prefer overweight people?
They leave a big impression.
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Medium and Rare
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
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Makeup Sex
My girlfriend surprised me the other day by suggesting we should have makeup sex, then for some reason she screamed and slammed the door on me when I showed up in my Gene Simmons KISS costume. Needless to say, we’re fighting again.
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Seatbelt Didn’t Deploy
Today I was injured when I wrecked my car. I’m not sure what went wrong — I was wearing my airbag, but the seatbelt didn’t deploy.
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Best Invention Since Sliced Bread
A good, sharp knife has got to be the best invention since sliced bread.
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Horseshoe Versus Whore’s Shoe: Times Have Changed
A grandfather went to visit his college-age grandson at the dorm. Grandpa was astonished to find that his son was living a life of sin and corruption, as shown by the very high-heeled shoe nailed over the doorway.
In my day, grumbled Gramps, we would hang a horse shoe over the door for luck and then study late into the night hoping to pass our classes.
But grandpa, replied the grandson, that is a whore’s shoe.
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Missile Sites Happy to See Him
As the F-14 screamed through the desert air, the pilot eyed the rising launcher ramps and wondered yet again if the missile sites were a genuine threat or merely happy to see him.
