Joke Type: wordplay

Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • At the Finnish Line

    Where did the Helsinki marathon end?

    At the Finnish line.

  • A Big Step Forward

    My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.

    That would be a big step forward.

  • Sails Are Going Through the Roof

    I started a business making yachts in the attic.

    Sails are going through the roof.

  • A Solid 10 But Also Imaginary

    My girlfriend is like the square root of -100.

    A solid 10, but also imaginary.

  • I Learned Next to Nothing

    I was so bored that I memorized six pages of the dictionary, and I learned next to nothing.

  • Keep an Eye Out

    A man walks into a brothel and says he wants an experience like he’s never had before.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The lady behind the desk nods with a devious smile and says room 2. The man enters the room and sees a very plain looking middle aged woman. She comes over to him and pops out her eyeball from the socket and says, “In here.” He has the most incredible experience of his entire life by far. As he was leaving he said, “Oh my God, I must see you again.”

    She said, “I’ll keep an eye out for you!”

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  • It’s Hard to Say

    I told my wife I absolutely love Worcestershire sauce.

    She asked what’s so special about it.

    “It’s hard to say,” I answered.

  • Vanished Without a Tres

    I recently attended a magic show in Mexico…

    The magician said, “Uno, dos,” and then vanished without a tres.

  • Now I’m a Registered Sex Offender

    My doctor told me I could have a stroke at any time.

    Now I’m a registered sex offender.

  • They Both Come in Olive Oil

    What does Popeye and a can of sardines have in common?

    They both come in olive oil.