What do you call a Chinese amputee?
Tai Wan Shu.
Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
What do you call a Chinese amputee?
Tai Wan Shu.
How can you tell Mike Tyson does not like religion?
Because he punches everyone on their faith.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a frame of Jesus?
You can hang the frame with only one nail.
I should be happy because I have a new girlfriend. The problem is she has the same name as my sister. So every time we have sex now…
…all I think about is my new girlfriend.
I’ll never forget what my granddad said to me before he croaked.
He said, “Hey kid, wanna hear my frog impression?”
11. J.J. Abrams — money silos to store all the coin Disney will throw at him to direct a future “Star Wars” movie
10. Tom Brady — a pressure cooker
9. Tom Brady — Federal Reserve action to prevent deflation
8. Bernie Sanders — combo campaign/get off my lawn signs
7. North West — witnessing a horrible crime so Witness Protection can change her name and reassign her to a nice, suburban, middle-class family from the Kansas City area
6. Jim Gilmore — a mirror, so someone would see him
5. Renée Zellweger — her old face back
4. Ben Carson — a good campaign surgeon
3. Gwyneth Paltrow — a steam cleaner
2. Reince Priebus — balls
1. Miss Piggy — a dry rub

Friend: Where are we going?
Me: No time to explain. Get in.
Poo Poo Point 79 h 4311 miles
Pee Pee Creek
Pee Pee Island

Just found out my girlfriend is cheating on me 😞
@shitheadsteve
Huh?
Jesus that sucks