Joke Type: wordplay

Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Bob Pope

    The pope should change his name to Bob. Then he would be Bob Pope, and he could have charity golf tournaments and go around the world on tours with a star-studded cast as his entourage. It would certainly liven up his shows a bit.

  • Now I want to break three

    I was going through my old stuff when I broke two Queen records.
    Now I want to break three.

  • Aren’t going to work out

    I asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up…
    Guess the two of us aren’t going to work out.

  • Under a buck

    What’s the difference between a beer nut and a deer nut?
    A bowl of beer nuts is about $1.80, but you can always find a deer nut under a buck.

  • It’s pasture bedtime

    I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.”

    Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?”

    I chuckled, “Well, that means…”
    “It’s pasture bedtime!”

  • Is it still considered a beef?

    If two vegans are having an argument…

    Is it still considered a beef?

  • A ceiling rafter

    I found a guy kayaking in my attic when I got home from work today…

    It turns out he was a ceiling rafter.

  • Sir Cumference

    Everyone is familiar with King Arthur’s Knights of the Round Table, like Sir Lancelot. But who actually built the round table?

    Sir Cumference.

  • Comparing apples to oranges

    Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump…

    But that’s comparing apples to oranges.