Wordplay Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

High Standards for Roller Coaster Rides

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, try swimming with sharks.
It can cost you an arm and a leg.

I recently visited a U.S. state north of Texas and south of Kansas.
It wasn’t great… but it was OK.

Somebody threw a beer at Donald Trump today.
Don’t worry, it was a draft—he was able to dodge it.

My great-uncle Herb was a renowned gardener.
He was a legend in his own thyme.

Why did the short-sighted vampire refuse to get glasses?
He just couldn’t see himself wearing them.

I compared how I walked down the street drunk vs sober.
The difference was staggering.

Did you hear the one about the Irishman that stayed out all night?
Paddy O’Furniture!

I had a fling with a lady janitor, she was always stoned so I had to break it off with her…
I’m just not into high maintenance women!