Everyone is familiar with King Arthur’s Knights of the Round Table, like Sir Lancelot. But who actually built the round table?
Sir Cumference.
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump…
But that’s comparing apples to oranges.
An American lawyer and his Czech brother-in-law are on a hunting vacation in Canada.
As they exit their tent, they run into a male and female bear in the middle of an intimate moment. Enraged at the interruption, the male bear roars, rears up, and, with a sudden pounce, swallows the lawyer’s brother-in-law whole!
The American runs for help, calling out for their Canadian ranger guide, who shows up with his hunting rifle. The American points at the male bear and says, “Quick! Shoot him, but be careful—my brother-in-law’s inside his belly!”
The ranger levels his hunting rifle, takes aim, and shoots the female bear dead! Startled by the shot, the male bear runs off.
The American falls to his knees, looks at the Canadian, and asks, “Why did you shoot the wrong bear?”
The ranger scoffs and says, “Did you really expect me to believe a lawyer who tells me the Czech is in the male?”
Did you hear about the dog who was floating in the ocean?
He was a good buoy…
My boss said he couldn’t talk because he was traveling.
I told him he probably needs to shoot or pass, and refrain from dribbling again.
Three guys are fishing out of a boat. One guy’s lure gets stuck, and when he tries to reel it in, the line breaks. He tells the others with him that the lure was his favorite and that he is not leaving without it.
He takes off his shirt and shoes and jumps in. He’s down there for such a long time that one of the other guys jumps in to try and save him. That guy is down for a while, but finally the guy still in the boat sees the second guy pop up with the first guy in tow.
The one in the boat helps pull the guy in and right away starts to give him mouth-to-mouth. Almost instantly, he stops and says, “I can’t do it—his breath is horrible.”
The other guy takes over as soon as he gets into the boat. Then he stops and says, “You’re right! I don’t remember his breath ever being that bad. In fact, I don’t remember him wearing that snowmobile suit.”