Sensitivity: Clean

Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I shudder to think at the amount of domestic violence that has resulted from the

I shudder to think at the amount of domestic violence that has resulted from the re-release of the VW Beetle.
What’s the male equivalent of women’s intuition?

What’s the male equivalent of women’s intuition? Most likely, it’s hitting something really hard and seeing if it still causes a problem.
I was all excited when I joined the neighborhood watch group, but it didn’t last long.

I was all excited when I joined the neighborhood watch group, but it didn’t last long. Apparently, they’ve got some weird policy against knocking on doors and demanding protection money.
Nothing is as wonderful as a clear summer day, especially if that day includes some

Nothing is as wonderful as a clear summer day, especially if that day includes some heavy boozing and hooking up with a hot supermodel.
I figure I’d better get started smoking now.

I figure I’d better get started smoking now. Otherwise in a few years my son might bring home from pre-school a crappy clay-and-elbow-macaroni DVD player.
If I ever became a hooker, I’d charge by the inch.

If I ever became a hooker, I’d charge by the inch.
*Strangling* fish in a barrel, although not as easy, is ultimately more satisfying.

*Strangling* fish in a barrel, although not as easy, is ultimately more satisfying.
I had the surprise of my life last Sunday when I opened Mom’s refrigerator, took out a

I had the surprise of my life last Sunday when I opened Mom’s refrigerator, took out a Cool Whip container and found it actually contained Cool Whip.
I expect that the Afghan women hardest hit by Taliban rule were Afghan women mimes.

I expect that the Afghan women hardest hit by Taliban rule were Afghan women mimes. Not only were they forced to wear burqas, but they weren’t allowed to speak about it — and they *still* can’t speak about it, pretty much by definition.
My pet bird loves to eat worms, but every day, she drops one in her water dish.

My pet bird loves to eat worms, but every day, she drops one in her water dish. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s her way of asking me for tequila.