Apparently, all around Area 51 there are signs warning trespassers that extreme force will be used against them. I think it would be more befitting if there were signs saying, “Warning! Trespassers will be subjected to extensive anal probing.”
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I have an idea for a construction business: I can build houses out of campfire wood that
I have an idea for a construction business: I can build houses out of campfire wood that I stack personally. Apparently, the finished houses would be completely and utterly fireproof.
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Often when I come in to work, I look around and ask myself, “Well, what’s gonna happen
Often when I come in to work, I look around and ask myself, “Well, what’s gonna happen today?”
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My wife thought she could really get me good on April Fool’s Day with her “Whoopee
My wife thought she could really get me good on April Fool’s Day with her “Whoopee cushion on the car seat” gag. But I think I trumped her with the ol’ “backing the sedan through the garage door” routine.
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I’ve started forwarding all the email I get from that Nigerian prince to the
I’ve started forwarding all the email I get from that Nigerian prince to the pharmaceutical company that sends me email telling me they can enlarge my “maleness.” I’m thinking the prince might want to invest some of his $30 million in that sweet deal.
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They say any publicity is good publicity, so I guess I shouldn’t complain, but I can’t
They say any publicity is good publicity, so I guess I shouldn’t complain, but I can’t help feeling a little insulted. And confused — I had always thought those “Worst Dressed” lists were limited to famous people.
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If I lived in a country rife with civil unrest, I’d always hold the door for my dates,
If I lived in a country rife with civil unrest, I’d always hold the door for my dates, because you never know when a bomb is on the other side. Plus, I’d only date really large ladies.
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I ve been trying to hire an au pair for about six months now, but so far I haven’t been
I ve been trying to hire an au pair for about six months now, but so far I haven’t been able to find one willing to work for me. They all suspicious and question your motives when they find out you don’t have any children.
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If you’re evil, but you’re working hard to change, I’ll bet a major milestone is when
If you’re evil, but you’re working hard to change, I’ll bet a major milestone is when people start referring to it as your house instead of your lair.
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I overheard two young women talking, and one looked at me and said, “If I were 50 and
I overheard two young women talking, and one looked at me and said, “If I were 50 and still single, I would do that guy.” I guess that makes me bucket-licious.
