Sensitivity: Dark

Dark humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • The Milk Man Dead

    A baby was born to a couple. When he was one, he could talk like an adult. When he was two, he could read anything. When he was three, he could do advanced calculus. When he was four, he could predict the future.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    One day, he made three predictions. One year from today, I will die. Two years from today, my mother will die. Three years from today, my father will die.

    Sure enough, a year later he died.

    The father, getting the picture in a big way, loaded up his wife with a million dollars in life insurance.

    Sure enough, a year later she died. He figured he had a year to live it up with that life insurance, which he did, spending every penny of it.

    The eve of his projected death, he drank himself into a stupor. To his amazement, he woke up the next morning with nothing more than a bad hangover. He stumbled to the back porch to get the milk for his coffee, where he found the milk man dead.

  • Taking Out the Bodies of the Previous Owners

    I really enjoy taking out the trash from my new home. It’s hard to explain, but walking the trash to the curb the night before trash day really makes me feel like a homeowner. Especially now that I’ve taken out the bodies of the previous owners.

  • We’ve All Got It

    “Doc, I think my son has VD,” a patient told his urologist on the phone. “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “Okay, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the medic soothed. “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.”

    “But I’ve been screwing the maid too, and I’ve got the same symptoms he has.”

    “Then you come in with him and I’ll fix you both up,” replied the doctor.

    “Well,” the man admitted, “I think my wife has it too.”

    “Oh crap!” the physician roared. “That means we’ve all got it!”

  • School Zone 120mph

    School Zone 120mph

    when I enter a school zone going 120 mph

    are ya ready kids?

  • Chloroform Aromatherapy

    Chloroform Aromatherapy

    It’s called chloroform … you’ll love it. It’s like aromatherapy but without all the struggling.

  • Broken Condoms Couch

    Broken Condoms Couch

    Him: Why are broken condoms on the couch?

    Her: Would you PLEASE start using our children’s real names?

  • Hitler Video Games

    Hitler Video Games

    September 1st, 1939 (colorized) Hitler playing his first video games that caused him to be violent and start WW2.

  • Joel Osteen Phrasing

    Joel Osteen Phrasing

    Do not swallow anything Satan is trying to ram down your throat. Jesus comes first. – Joel Osteen

    HOLY SHIT, JOEL!

    PHRASING!!

  • Dog Not Taking Chances

    Dog Not Taking Chances

    The dog knows he’s done nothing wrong but he’s black so he not taking any chances with the police

  • Dont Harm Clowns

    Dont Harm Clowns

    Police Officers are saying do not harm people dressed as clowns

    Black people: