’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring due to the carbon monoxide being given off by the defective space heater.
Sensitivity: Dark
Dark humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I’m Concerned About Syrian Refugees Being Sent to Alabama
I’m concerned about the Syrian refugees being sent to Alabama. Haven’t these poor people suffered enough?
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A Friend Request
Not sure if I should accept or just leave him hanging
Jeffrey Epstein sent you a friend request.
5 mutual friends
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Nice Things to Whisper
Nice things to whisper when hugging someone
you smell different when you’re awake
please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
soon
you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
your hair tastes like strawberries
tonight….you.
he knows, don’t go home.
I always knew you would die in my arms
every time I poop I think of you
no one will ever believe you
yesssssssssssss
I killed mufasa
I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
mother told me it would be like this
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A Breathalyzer Test
In Russia, a man is driving with his wife and small child when a policeman pulls him over on suspicion of being drunk. The breathalyzer shows he is drunk.
The man insists it is broken and asks the policeman to test his wife. She also registers as drunk. Then he asks the policeman to test his child.
When the child registers drunk as well, the policeman shrugs and sends them on their way.
Out of earshot, the man tells his wife, “See, I told you it wouldn’t hurt to give the kid a couple of shots of vodka.”
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Joe Exotic and Elmo
Straight men addicted to meth
Joe Exotic
Americans shocked that a tiger is only $2000
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Godzilla Attacks the City
RUN! GODZILLA'S ATTACKING THE CITY!!!
RELAX, HE’S ONLY KILLED 4000 PEOPLE. THE FLU KILLS OVER 25,000 EVERY YEAR!
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Churches and Essential Services
So churches are not essential… but abortion clinics ARE essential. Got it.
Yes because abortion is healthcare, glad I could clear that up for you Liz
600,000 babies a year would disagree with you
I could easily win a debate against 600,000 babies
