“You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.” Then why the hell would you want a damn cake in the first place?
Sensitivity: Dark
Dark humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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HTHDIKWJWD: How the hell do I know what Jesus would do???
HTHDIKWJWD: How the hell do I know what Jesus would do???
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All children eventually realize how grateful they are to their parents — usually when
All children eventually realize how grateful they are to their parents — usually when their parents are dead and they’ve started wondering when their own children are ever going to start feeling grateful toward THEM.
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I shot a man in Reno, but didn’t stick around to watch him die.
I shot a man in Reno, but didn’t stick around to watch him die. That’s how Johnny Cash got caught.
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Working at a top secret nuclear weapons lab has its perks.
Working at a top secret nuclear weapons lab has its perks. For starters, anytime I want someone dead, I merely have to tell them what I do for a living.
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Then again, is there any use NOT beating a dead horse??
Then again, is there any use NOT beating a dead horse??
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I never wear party hats, because if the zombie apocalypse hit just at that moment, I’d
I never wear party hats, because if the zombie apocalypse hit just at that moment, I’d be staggering around dead with an embarrassing hat on. /@b0nrmunky
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One reason I like Halloween so much is that I really get off on the genuinely horrified
One reason I like Halloween so much is that I really get off on the genuinely horrified reaction from kids with my “sawing off my forearm with an electric carving knife” shtick — at least until I pass out from the voluminous loss of blood and all.
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Nowadays, it seems like a lot of people are dying of consumption in 19th century
Nowadays, it seems like a lot of people are dying of consumption in 19th century literature.
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Can nuns get tattoos?
Can nuns get tattoos? My platonic friend, Sister Margery, wanted me to help her get a tramp stamp, but I didn’t want us to go to Hell.
