I’m dreaming of a white Christmas this year. Not that I like snow, I just hate minority’s.
#WhiteChristmasMatters
Sensitivity: Dark
Dark humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
Dreaming of a White Christmas
-
Mr Rogers Takes a Stand
Mr Rogers takes a stand against
racial inequality by inviting a black
man to the show (1969) -
Dating a Half Asian Girl
I’m dating a half asian girl
her mom is korean
and her dad is also korean
her legs were ripped off in a car accident -
A Joke That Backfired
It’s amazing how a joke can backfire.
I was in a bar and told the following joke:
“What do you do if an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw your clothes in so they get a wash.”
Once the laughing of my friends had died down, I became aware of a man on the other side of the bar, crying and talking to the bartender.
The bartender came over to me and told me that the gentleman at the bar had recently lost his son and that my joke had offended him.
I thought I should apologize.
I approached the gentleman and offered my condolences for his loss and my apologies if my joke had offended him. He said that the joke had only got to him because his son was an epileptic, and it was a seizure that killed him.
Ignorant as I am, I wondered how a seizure could actually kill someone. The man said that his son had choked, passed out, and hit his head, and that was what had killed him. I asked where this happened, and the man said it was in the bathtub. I realized then how inappropriate my joke seemed in the moment.
“Did your son choke on his own tongue?” I asked.
“No,” replied the man. “He choked on one of my socks!”
-
The Difference Between a Dead Baby and a Trampoline
What is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
I don’t wear shoes when jumping on a trampoline.
-
John’s Birthday At The Club
A wife treats her husband by taking him to a strip club on his birthday.
At the club, the doorman says, “Hi, John. How are you doing today?”
The wife asks, “How did he know your name?”
John says, “Oh! Honey, I played football with him in college.”
Inside, the bartender says, “As usual, John?”
John says to his wife, “Before you say anything, he’s on the bowling team.”
Then a stripper asks, “Hi, John. Do you want the special again?”
The wife doesn’t wait for him to give an excuse anymore. She drags him into a taxi…
Then the taxi driver says, “Hey, Johnny boy! You picked up an ugly one this time!”
John’s funeral is next week…
-
I Told My Wife I Wanted to Be Cremated
I told my wife I wanted to be cremated.
She made an appointment for Tuesday.
-
Afternoon Tea With Cannibals
Two cannibal friends are sitting together over afternoon tea.
One looks across the table and asks, “Hey, I heard you and your boyfriend had a massive argument last night?”
“Oh, absolutely,” she replies. “It was dreadful.”
“So, where do things stand between you two now?”
She pauses, takes a delicate sip from her teacup, and says, “Well… right now, I’m just letting him stew.”
