I was at a speed dating event, looking for a partner who can light my cigarette.
The first candidate started telling me about how smoking is actually really bad for me.
I told him that I appreciate his intention, but it’s not a match.
Tone: Clever
Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Disabled Porn
A guy takes his wife and two small kids on a driving vacation, and checks into a cheap motel. He asks the clerk, “For the sake of our kids’ TV viewing, can we have the porn disabled?”
The clerk responds, “Who the hell would make their kids watch disabled porn, you sick bastard?”
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Just my luck, I picked up the *karma* sutra book instead of the
Just my luck, I picked up the *karma* sutra book instead of the *kama* sutra. I guess what cums around goes around.
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Consumer advice: They cost a little more,
Consumer advice: They cost a little more,
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It seems reasonable to think that a “crap shoot” and a “poop
It seems reasonable to think that a “crap shoot” and a “poop shoot” are pretty much the same thing, but it turns out that they aren’t. Also, sometimes when something happens in Vegas, word spreads to Atlantic City.
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I came, I saw, I came again. This porno theater is cool
I came, I saw, I came again. This porno theater is cool!
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Some words just don’t sound like what they mean. For instance,
Some words just don’t sound like what they mean. For instance, “Kalashnikov” is surely some kind of sexual perversion. And if “autofellatio” isn’t the name of a weapon, it oughta be.
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I can never remember the trucker grammatical rule. Is it “fuck”
I can never remember the trucker grammatical rule. Is it “fuck” before “shit” except after “cocksucker,” or the other way around?
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I’m developing a “super fast-acting” laxative for all of us
I’m developing a “super fast-acting” laxative for all of us ultra-busy people. So far I only have the marketing campaign: “Colonow — ’cause you got shit to do!”
