Salesman: *slaps USA* you can fit so many fucking idiots in this bad boy
Tone: crude
Crude humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Didnt Even Turn Up
ben @rokthedisco
Just had a message from a random guy asking to meet in the woods to compare dick sizes, fucking weirdo didn’t even turn up
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Cut My Leash Into Pieces
Cut my leash into pieces
This is my bestest bork
Domestication
No Breeding
Cant give a heck
Cause they neutered my weenie
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Wayne’s Whore
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Little Wayne says, “I wanna start out as a fighter pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.”
The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Wayne, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.
“And how about you, Sarah?”
“I wanna be Wayne’s whore.”
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I don’t know if “Topless Webcamming” can be considered a skill,
I don’t know if “Topless Webcamming” can be considered a skill, but what the fuck, it’s going on the resume.
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Rap version: If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, I’d
Rap version: If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, I’d hammer in the evening, All over this motherfucker.
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I suppose the hardest part of being a hermaphrodite would be
I suppose the hardest part of being a hermaphrodite would be remembering not to flush your tampons down the urinal.
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I’d imagine one of the cooler aspects of working in a crime lab
I’d imagine one of the cooler aspects of working in a crime lab is that you could tell with 99.916% accuracy what douchenozzle co-worker keeps shedding his corkscrew pubes all over the urinal.
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I like chicks unshaven down there. No woman who can’t even
I like chicks unshaven down there. No woman who can’t even support a colony of crab lice is gonna raise MY kids.
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If you’re ever of a mind to use a little saliva of your T.P. to
If you’re ever of a mind to use a little saliva of your T.P. to blunt the scratch of it across your ass, you might want to stay focused on the whole “lick, wipe, lick, wipe” order of the event chain.
