Deadpan Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

My family finding that

If I die right now, my last Google search will be “carry testicles in milk crate,” so I look forward to my family finding that.

Other words and phrases

I bought a pen that can write under water…
It can also write other words and phrases.

Not Much These Days

A clown walks into a bar.

His demeanor is awful. He asks the bartender for a shot, but says he won’t be able to pay for it.

The bartender takes one look at him and decides he needs it.

“Sure, buddy. You look awful. Wanna talk about it?”

The clown downs the shot and says, “My God. Today is the worst day of my life. I’m in town for a comedy show, but my joke gopher was stolen, the show was canceled, my hotel reservation was canceled because of the show, and my bank accounts have been frozen!”

He slumps in his seat and shakes his head.

The bartender pours him another shot.

“Wow, that’s a really awful day. I’m sorry, but what’s a joke gopher?”

The clown shakes his head again.

“Not much these days, or I wouldn’t be begging for drinks.”