Max Dylan Ash @mynameisntdave
ME: honey, it’s really muggy out today
WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m leaving u
ME: *sips coffee from bowl*
Tone: Playful
Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I Struck Down a Jedi – Yes Use Your Hate
Gringo Brulee @GringoBrulee
Wife: wtf is this pile of clothes doing on the floor?
Me: I struck down a Jedi.
W: god I hate you.
M: yes, use your hate
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My Fish Is Very Dry – We Had to Take Him Out of the Water – Smart
john @mrjohndarby
me: my fish is very dry
waiter: yes, we had to take him out of the water
me: smart
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When You Have to Hold Her Like This at Night Because She Steals
When you have to hold her like this at night because she steals
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Shark vs Me in a Triathlon – It Would All Come Down to Who Is the Better Cyclist
Emma Manzini @EmmaManzini
A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.
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Your Jew-Jitsu Is Strong But Feel the Power of My Nun-Chucks
Your Jew-Jitsu is strong, but feel the power of my…
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Jesus Breakdancing to Impress His Friends, AD20 (Colourised)
Daniel @DannyDutch
Jesus breakdancing to impress his friends, AD20 (Colourised)
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So Dracula Won’t Try to Eat My Ass – Garlic in My Pants
m@thew @TweetPotato314
wife: why r u putting garlic in ur pants
me: so dracula won’t try to eat my ass
wife: why would dracula try to eat ur ass
me: he won’t. the garlic- r u even listening
