Tone: Playful

Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Inspect Her Gadget

    I’m starting a vibrator repair service.
    I’m calling it “Inspect Her Gadget.”

  • All the Different Ways We Can Eat Potatoes

    All the Different Ways We Can Eat Potatoes

    All the Different Ways We Can Eat Potatoes

  • The Joke He Didn’t Tell

    A blind man accidentally walks into a ladies’ bar.

    He feels his way to a stool, sits down, and orders a drink.

    After a while, he calls out to the bartender, “Hey, want to hear a blonde joke?”

    The bar goes completely silent.

    Then, in a deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know a few things.

    First, the bartender is blonde. Second, the bouncer is blonde. Third, I’m a six-foot-tall, 200-pound blonde with a black belt in karate. Fourth, the woman next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter. And fifth, the lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.”

    She pauses. “Now think carefully… do you still want to tell that joke?”

    The blind man sits quietly for a moment, then shakes his head.

    “Nah… not if I’m going to have to explain it five times.”

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  • Kick his ass at Quarters

    You know that guy who keeps winning every day on the game show “Jeopardy!”? Betcha I could kick his ass at Quarters. Ha! Take another shot, pencil neck!

  • Bob Pope

    The pope should change his name to Bob. Then he would be Bob Pope, and he could have charity golf tournaments and go around the world on tours with a star-studded cast as his entourage. It would certainly liven up his shows a bit.

  • Now I want to break three

    I was going through my old stuff when I broke two Queen records.
    Now I want to break three.

  • Under a buck

    What’s the difference between a beer nut and a deer nut?
    A bowl of beer nuts is about $1.80, but you can always find a deer nut under a buck.

  • It’s pasture bedtime

    I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.”

    Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?”

    I chuckled, “Well, that means…”
    “It’s pasture bedtime!”

  • Harvard Sweatshirts and Embarrassing Checkups!

    Some questions are better left unasked.

    A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red “H” on her chest.

    “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor.

    “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard, and he’s so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.

    A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue “Y” on her chest.

    “How did you get that mark on your chest?” the doctor asks.

    “Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale, and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.

    A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green “M” on her chest.

    “Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?” asks the doctor.

    She replies, “No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin.”

    “Why do you ask?”

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  • Is it still considered a beef?

    If two vegans are having an argument…

    Is it still considered a beef?