A termite walks into a pub and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
Tone: Playful
Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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A gardener hoes his beets
What’s the difference between a gardener and a pimp?
A gardener hoes his beets.
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The thesaurus throat
I swallowed a bunch of synonyms today.
I’ve got the thesaurus throat I’ve ever had.
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Light blue
What’s blue and weighs very little?
Light blue.
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Bowling Teams: Brunettes vs. Blondes on a Bus!
Two bowling teams—one team of brunettes and the other of blondes—get on a double-decker bus together. The brunettes are on the bottom, and the blondes are on the top floor.
The brunettes are having the time of their lives, drinking and partying, when one says to her friend, “It’s very quiet upstairs.” So they go up to investigate.
When they arrive, they see all the blondes staring toward the front of the bus and hanging on to the seats with utmost fear.
A brunette asks, “What’s wrong?”
A blonde replies, “It’s OK for you—you’ve got a driver!”
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Worms, Wagers, and Wily Whippersnappers!
A boy and his grandfather were digging in the backyard when the grandfather pulled a long earthworm out of the dirt.
The boy says, “Hey, Grandpa. I bet you five bucks I can put that worm right back in the ground.”
“No way that’s possible,” says the grandfather. “You’re on.”
The kid goes inside, gets a can of hairspray, and sprays the length of the earthworm, which goes completely stiff. He takes it between his fingers and slides the worm right back into its burrow.
The grandfather shakes his head and, with an “I’ll be damned,” hands the kid a five-dollar bill and heads inside.
After a while, he comes back out to the yard and hands the kid a five-dollar bill.
“Grandpa,” the kid says, “you already paid me.”
“I know,” the grandfather replies. “That’s from Grandma.”
