I object to the term X-ray. It’s taking the “Christ” out of “Christ-ray.”
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Some guys just don’t know when to quit.
Some guys just don’t know when to quit. Personally, I’ve found that Thursdays work best for me. That way you can just pick up your last check on Friday and have a three-day weekend.
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With apologies to the adage-quoting visitors who keep interrupting my morphine haze, I’m
With apologies to the adage-quoting visitors who keep interrupting my morphine haze, I’m not sure exactly how getting brained by a concrete block and tumbling from atop fifteen feet of scaffolding is supposed to “make me stronger.”
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No one ever threatens to prosecute somebody to half the extent of the law — it’s always
No one ever threatens to prosecute somebody to half the extent of the law — it’s always the full extent. Some department store should only prosecute shoplifters to 90% of the extent of the law. It would be good PR: It would show the community that while they may be tough on shoplifters, they still have a heart.
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Suddenly there are all these reality TV shows about people with dozens of kids and how
Suddenly there are all these reality TV shows about people with dozens of kids and how they manage to go about their days. Shouldn’t at least one of them be called “The Eighteenth Century”?
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I’m no physicist, but I’ll bet that in the fourth dimension, “thinking outside the
I’m no physicist, but I’ll bet that in the fourth dimension, “thinking outside the tesseract” is physically impossible.
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I think I could be a Jedi, but so far, I can only get the Force to work on grocery-
I think I could be a Jedi, but so far, I can only get the Force to work on grocery- store doors and hand-towel dispensers.
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Life sucks, then you die.
Life sucks, then you die. It’s *that* great an orgasm.
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Apparently, all around Area 51 there are signs warning trespassers that extreme force
Apparently, all around Area 51 there are signs warning trespassers that extreme force will be used against them. I think it would be more befitting if there were signs saying, “Warning! Trespassers will be subjected to extensive anal probing.”
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I have an idea for a construction business: I can build houses out of campfire wood that
I have an idea for a construction business: I can build houses out of campfire wood that I stack personally. Apparently, the finished houses would be completely and utterly fireproof.
