Topic: humor

Humor jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.

I went to a wet t-shirt contest and what a disappointment.

I went to a wet t-shirt contest and what a disappointment. It would have been a lot more fun if they could have gotten the girls to wear them. Now that I think of it, that place was probably just a laundromat.
Attendance at my support group for people who’ve accidentally been turned invisible has

Attendance at my support group for people who’ve accidentally been turned invisible has been awful. I think.
If you ever run out of eye drops, just reach in and yank out two or three nose hairs.

If you ever run out of eye drops, just reach in and yank out two or three nose hairs.
I’d have to say my favorite thing about Thanksgiving is the sharp spike in frequency of

I’d have to say my favorite thing about Thanksgiving is the sharp spike in frequency of use of the term “giblets.”
I’ve noticed when playing “Grand Theft Auto” over the years that I’m great at driving,

I’ve noticed when playing “Grand Theft Auto” over the years that I’m great at driving, but terrible at killing hookers. Life really does imitate art.
The only difference between my job and that of a trapeze artist is the clowns are less

The only difference between my job and that of a trapeze artist is the clowns are less threatening.
I could walk away from an explosion if I knew it was toward a movie camera because I

I could walk away from an explosion if I knew it was toward a movie camera because I know I could always buy a ticket to see the explosion.
There’s really no excuse for taking a poorly lit photo of a fire breather.

There’s really no excuse for taking a poorly lit photo of a fire breather.
I still get toys for Christmas.

I still get toys for Christmas. The real challenge now is when the elderly relatives ask what you got for Christmas and you can’t think of a nicer word for “butt plug.”
I’d be a lot jollier this Christmas if the people on the subway knew how to board an

I’d be a lot jollier this Christmas if the people on the subway knew how to board an escalator with their bags without hitting me in the crotch with them.