Topic: humor

Humor jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.

I’m sorting through beans looking for the magic ones.

I’m sorting through beans looking for the magic ones. I think I’ve found three so far. I’m making a mess with the refried ones.
Pretzels cause earthquakes.

Pretzels cause earthquakes. Werewolves cause acne. Vaccinations cause autism. Each of these three statements has equal evidence to support it.
If everything really is bigger in Texas, those gay weddings are going to be FABULOUS!

If everything really is bigger in Texas, those gay weddings are going to be FABULOUS!
I don’t know about trees but when I was alone in the forest and I fell down, I made a

I don’t know about trees but when I was alone in the forest and I fell down, I made a lot of loud swearing sounds.
Every book is an “educational book,” if you read it.

Every book is an “educational book,” if you read it. Even if the only lesson you learn is, “Man, this book sucks.”
Wait, is it 50 Shades of GRAY or GREY?

Wait, is it 50 Shades of GRAY or GREY? Answer quickly, she’s suffocating.
If you had a million monkeys type for a million years, they would all have taken a crap

If you had a million monkeys type for a million years, they would all have taken a crap in all the typewriters by the end of the first week.
If my backyard was walled instead of fenced, I’d have had a pretty sweet swimming hole

If my backyard was walled instead of fenced, I’d have had a pretty sweet swimming hole once all this snow melts.
McDonald’s brags about their billions and billions of hamburgers sold, but they never

McDonald’s brags about their billions and billions of hamburgers sold, but they never mention the hundreds of thousands that get thrown back up.
My parents remember where they were when they heard Kennedy was shot.

My parents remember where they were when they heard Kennedy was shot. My generation doesn’t have anything like that. The closest thing we can get is remembering the time ALF was on “Hollywood Squares.”