Humor Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

I tried making some extra money as a go-go dancer, but got thrown out of Applebee’s

I tried making some extra money as a go-go dancer, but got thrown out of Applebee’s because they don’t appreciate art.

If a Method Actor is starring in a film about a Method Actor, does he get caught in a

If a Method Actor is starring in a film about a Method Actor, does he get caught in a time paradox?

I’m not addicted to my smartphone.

I’m not addicted to my smartphone. I can stop anytime the battery runs out.

As I get older, I am starting to appreciate the messages I get from my Dad, particularly

As I get older, I am starting to appreciate the messages I get from my Dad, particularly since I know it likely took him a half-hour to type out that text.

I kind of have a problem with women breastfeeding in public.

I kind of have a problem with women breastfeeding in public. I mean, shouldn’t you be weaned by the time you’re a grown woman?

Food is great.

Food is great. Shove it one of the holes on the front of your gob. If it isn’t great, just try another hole. You’ll know when you hit it.

I don’t know what to put in the moat: Alligators or a lady who was trying to return

I don’t know what to put in the moat: Alligators or a lady who was trying to return something she paid full price for without no receipt.

If a half-truth is a whole lie, a whole truth is two whole lies.

Is This Good for Wasps?

Is this good
for wasps?

No, it kills
them.

Topic: humor