Fool me zero times, shame on nobody.
Fool me -(n) times, where nA = {x ∈ ℝ | 0 < x ≤ 1}, -(shame) on you.
Delivery Style: wordplay
Wordplay joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I Seriously Doubt My Mom Would Go for It
I don’t think I could ever be “born again,” like some of those Evangelicals I see. I don’t remember much from the first time, but umbilical cords freak me out, and I seriously doubt my mom would go for it.
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The Top 16 Election Day Cocktails
The Top 16 Election Day Cocktails
16. Mudslinger
15. Non-Consensual Sex on the Beach
14. Pina Clintada: coconut, pineapple, and $250K for access to the bartender
13. Orange Whine Cooler
12. The Jill Beer Stein: a “germ”-in beer stein filled with penicillin
11. Slow Uncomfortable Grope Against the Wall
10. Mai-Tais to Wall Street
9. The Greatest: just toilet water, but believe me, everyone is saying it will be beautiful, the best cocktail you ever tasted
8. BenghaZima
7. The Gary Johnson: you’ll forget your troubles, foreign leaders, war zones…
6. Margarita (that Mexico will pay for!)
5. The Campaign Promise: an empty glass
4. White Russian Who Got a Meeting With the Secretary of State Because He Contributed to Her Foundation
3. Bloody Megyn
2. Screwedover: orange juice with lots of bitters
And the Number One Election Day Cocktail…
1. Pervy Wallbuilder
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How Many Men Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb
How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
Four — one to actually change it and three friends to brag to about how he screwed it.
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4 Better 4 Worse 4 Richer 4 Poorer
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?”
“Sixteen,” the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly.
“How do you know that?”
“Easy,” the little boy said. “All you have to do is add it up, like the Preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.”
