Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • More Interested in the Hereafter

    As I grow older I find I am more interested in the hereafter.

    I’ll be standing in the kitchen going “now, what did I come in here after?”

  • Cracks Started to Appear

    My wife denied she was a lesbian but it wasn’t long before cracks started to appear in our marriage.

  • Why Is the Bible Like a Penis

    Why is the Bible like a penis?

    You get it forced down your throat by a priest.

  • The Worst Thing About Being an Atheist

    What’s the worst thing about being an atheist?

    You have nobody to talk to when you’re having an orgasm.

  • I’m Dreading It

    I’m not a hairdresser, but a friend of mine asked me to do their hair like a Rastafarian.

    I’m dreading it.

  • A MILF Shake

    What’s the term for getting a handjob from a single mom?

    A MILF shake.

  • Posterchild for Posterchildren

    I’m glad that there isn’t a disease where children are born with thin paper bodies. Although I guess it might be fun to be the posterchild for posterchildren.

  • OJ Simpson Wanted to Move to West Virginia

    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?

    Everyone has the same DNA.

  • The Border Where They Combine

    They say the atmosphere is 78 percent nitrogen and 22 percent oxygen. And when I become world-renowned for being the first person to discover the border where they combine, I’ll just sit back and laugh my ass off.

  • Lifeguard Certification Test

    I took my lifeguard certification test the other day, but failed miserably. It turns out you need to do more than just run up and down the beach in slow motion.