Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Where I Draw the Line

    I do a lot of illegal things…

    But graffiti is where I draw the line.

  • Mattresses Prefer Overweight People

    Why do mattresses prefer overweight people?

    They leave a big impression.

  • Al Gore’s Internet Refund

    If Al Gore really invented the Internet, then why does he continue to ignore my repeated requests for a refund of my BIGBEAVERZ.COM membership fee?

  • Night School 8 AM Class

    The worst part about going to night school to get my college education was ending up with an 8:00 class and having to drag my sleepy ass out of bed by 7:00 PM.

  • Makeup Sex

    My girlfriend surprised me the other day by suggesting we should have makeup sex, then for some reason she screamed and slammed the door on me when I showed up in my Gene Simmons KISS costume. Needless to say, we’re fighting again.

  • Seatbelt Didn’t Deploy

    Today I was injured when I wrecked my car. I’m not sure what went wrong — I was wearing my airbag, but the seatbelt didn’t deploy.

  • Best Invention Since Sliced Bread

    A good, sharp knife has got to be the best invention since sliced bread.