Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Chinese Amputee

    What do you call a Chinese amputee?

    Tai Wan Shu.

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  • Mirror Mirror

    I want to have sex with someone who’s as attractive as I am.

    That’s why I always masturbate in front of a mirror.

  • Ketchup with old friends again

    I just got back from the annual Condiment Convention.

    It was nice to ketchup with old friends again.

  • The Times are rough

    I’ve run out of toilet paper, so I’ve started using old newspaper…
    The Times are rough.

  • Ancient grease

    An archaeologist found a 2,000-year-old oil stain.
    Ancient grease.

  • It means a lot to you

    To all my Spanish-speaking friends out there, I just want to say “mucho”…
    …because I know it means a lot to you.

  • Law School

    It turns out law school is a lot like elementary school. They assign you a locker, you meet new friends, and pulling the cute redhead’s pigtails still isn’t as good an idea as you think it is.

  • Just a shot in the dark

    I was trying to get romantic with the new nurse at my doctor’s office, so I asked her to dim the lights before she gave me the tetanus booster.
    I guess it was just a shot in the dark.

  • That guy from You’re So Vain

    You know, someone should introduce that woman from “Killing Me Softly,” who thinks the guy is singing about her, to that guy from “You’re So Vain.”

  • Al Roker

    Should NBC be concerned? They keep getting communications that affect the weather from some rogue terrorist group called “Al Roker.”