I went to the zoo last week. The first exhibit was a ciabatta, the second a baguette, and the third a brioche.
They were all bread in captivity.
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
I went to the zoo last week. The first exhibit was a ciabatta, the second a baguette, and the third a brioche.
They were all bread in captivity.
Two Irishmen lost at sea — they’d been out there for quite a few days, dehydrated and parched from the sun. They’re just watching the waves, trying to spot land, when one of them looks down and a bottle floats by.
Without even thinking, he grabs the bottle and wipes the label to see what it is, and all of a sudden a genie pops out and says, “You’ve released me from my prison, so I’m going to grant you just one wish — no more, no less!”
So the Irishman, without thinking it through, shouts, “Turn the entire ocean into a big vat of Guinness!”
The genie says, “Your wish is my command,” and turns the entire ocean into Guinness.
The second Irishman screams at the top of his lungs, “NO YOU IDIOT!!!! Now we have to piss in the boat!”
A little old guy is walking around in a supermarket calling out, “Crisco, Crissssssscoooo!”
Soon an assistant manager approaches and says, “Sir, the Crisco is in aisle 3.”
The old guy replies, “Oh, I’m not looking for the cooking stuff. I’m calling my wife. She’s in here somewhere.”
The clerk is astonished.
“Your wife’s name is Crisco?”
The old guy answers, “Oh no, no, no. I only call her that when we’re out in public.”
“I see,” said the clerk. “What do you call her at home?”
“Lard ass.”
If you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN…
They become VERY ANGRY.
I was the best man at my brother’s wedding in Paris. At the reception, I raised my champagne glass and said, “Eggs, cinnamon, bread, and maple syrup…”
It was a French toast.