A blonde goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk “I need to buy some deodorant for my husband.”
“Does he use the ball kind?” enquired the clerk.
“No,” replied the blonde, “The kind for under his arms.”
Format: short form
Short form comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
I Seriously Doubt My Mom Would Go for It
I don’t think I could ever be “born again,” like some of those Evangelicals I see. I don’t remember much from the first time, but umbilical cords freak me out, and I seriously doubt my mom would go for it.
-
The Hard Disk
Last night, my friends and I went to a geek strip club called “The Hard Disk.” Lame, you say? What if I told you they only charged $20 for a laptop dance?
-
Dumb Men Jokes Volume 4
Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren’t affectionate out of bed.What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.Why don’t men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.How does a man show he’s planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don’t talk.What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he’s God’s gift?
Exchange him.Why do bachelors like smart women?
Opposites attract.Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don’t work half the time.What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don’t have eyes.How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.What’s the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken, and the ones that are left are handicapped. -
Dumb Men Jokes Volume 3
How do you get a man to do situps?
Glue the TV remote between his ankles…What kind of clothes are there?
Women: clean & dirty
Men: Clean, almost clean, sorta clean, not bad, dirty, really dirty, nasty, biohazard. (Men will voluntarily wear all but the last classification of these clothes.)Why do Black Widow spiders kill their mates after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about was legs, breasts and thighs…How is being at the singles bar different from being at the circus?
At the circus the clowns don’t talk…What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it’s getting interesting they are finished until next time…What do men have in common with toilet bowls, anniversaries, and clitorises?
They miss them all.What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.What’s the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.What’s the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can’t stand criticism.I went to the County Fair. They had one of those “Believe it or not?” shows. They had a man born with a penis and a brain.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man’s undivided attention.How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don’t know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get, or how long it’ll stay.Did you hear about the banker who’s a great lover?
He knows first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep from grazing.Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
Because they already have boyfriends!Did you hear the one about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.Why do men like masturbation?
It’s sex with someone they love.What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.Husband: I don’t know why you wear a bra, you’ve got nothing to put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs don’t you?What’s the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake the stove.What is a man’s view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
