Absurdist Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

7 Antibiotics

I gave you everything

I know. I’m on 7 antibiotics

I’LL BEAT A MOTHERFUCKER….

WITH ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKER!!!

The first cell that underwent mitosis must have been like

When you’re fucking a girl in the butt and a balloon of heroin plops out

Don’t mind if I do.

DEEP THOUGHT: Why is spicy the only flavor my butt can detect?

Why can’t I eat pancakes and then 14 hours later be like OOH PANCAKES AGAIN

if I was a worm I’d sleep in and make those early birds feel so fuckin dumb

Had to fight some 16 year old kid for this at the farmers market today.👍

In many places it is now unlawful to play Yahtzee with squirrels.

Spider-Man Spider-Man

Does whatever a spider can

Spins a web Any size

Catches thieves Eats those guys

Hey wait Don’t do that Spider-Man

Does the Clapper still turn the lights on if a mime is doing the clapping?