A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a beer.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash ChaosJoke Type: bait and switch
Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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O’Brien’s Dog Was a Catholic
O’Brien lived alone in the Irish countryside for many years, with just his dog for company.
One day, the dog died, and O’Brien went to see Father Mullaney, the parish priest.
“Father, me darlin’ pup has passed on. I was wonderin’, could ya be sayin’ a mass for the poor creature?”
“Ah, I’m afraid not, we can’t be havin’ services for an animal in the church. But there’s a few Baptists down the road and there’s no tellin’ what they’re believin’ in. Maybe they’ll do somethin’ for the poor creature.”
“I’ll be headin’ off straight away, Father. Do ye think five grand would be enough to donate for the service?”
“Sweet Mary, mother o’ Jesus! Why didn’t ye tell me the dog was a bleedin’ Catholic?”
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The Medical Student’s Diagnosis
While making his rounds, a doctor points to an X-ray and addresses a group of medical students.
“As you can see,” he says, “this patient limps because his left tibia and fibula are severely bowed.”
The doctor turns to one of the students and asks, “What would you do in a case like this?”
“Well,” says the student, “I suppose I’d limp too.”
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No Word Yet
My dog accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles. We took him to the vet to get him checked out.
No word yet…
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The Hamster and the Singing Frog
A mangy-lookin’ guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “No way. I don’t think you can pay for it.”
The guy says, “You’re right. I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me a drink?”
The bartender says, “Only if what you show me ain’t risque.”
“Deal!” says the guy, as he reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down a barstool, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the keyboard and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the hamster is really good.
The bartender says, “You’re right. I’ve never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano.”
The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.
“Money or another miracle, else no drink,” says the bartender.
The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvellous voice and great pitch — a fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog. The guy says “It’s a deal.” He takes the three hundred and gives the frog to the stranger, who runs out of the bar with it.
The bartender says to the guy, “Are you some kind of nut?! You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy!”
“Not so,” says the guy. “The hamster is also a ventriloquist!”
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Such a Small Organ
In bed with a priest, a nun said, “Father, I never expected you’d have such a small organ.”
He replied, “Why, Sister… I never expected to be playing in such a large cathedral.”
