Joke Type: observational

Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • LinkedIn Stupid Idea Service

    LinkedIn Stupid Idea Service

    jordanreviewsittt 6d

    Starting a new business. Do you have an annoying boss or pretentious coworker? For the low low price of $5/month I’ll comment on their LinkedIn “that’s a stupid idea” every time they post something.

  • Junior Bacon Cheeseburger

    Junior Bacon Cheeseburger

    Chel: Having your first son and not making him a Jr is crazy to me

    Lado: yall be naming yall sons jr. with no father

    junior what…. junior bacon cheeseburger?

  • This Contest Is Hard

    This Contest Is Hard

    Jon @ArfMeasures

    Me *swallowing 4th wet t-shirt* this contest is hard

    11:15 AM – 31 May 19 – Twitter for Android

    2,711 Retweets 20K Likes

  • Weekend Immune System

    I only seem to get sick on weekdays.

    I must have a weekend immune system.

  • Disgruntled Employee

    For the Halloween party at work this year, I went as a disgruntled employee.

    The costume was simple: all I had to do was wear my regular clothes and improve my attitude.

  • The Top 14 October Surprises

    14. A final, no-holds-barred presidential debate is hastily scheduled by the producers of “American Gladiators.”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    13. Supreme Court opens their new session by replacing “yea” or “nay” with “left” or “right.”

    12. Donald Trump provides incontrovertible proof that he’s not a Russian spy by revealing that he’s a Chinese spy.

    11. Bill already advertising for interns on Craigslist.

    10. The pumpkin spice craze is a secret chemical warfare plot concocted by Donald Trump to turn the entire world orange.

    9. Ronald Reagan rises from the dead, just to show that he can.

    8. Hillary’s server full of e-mails advocating “grabbing Bernie by the droopy balls.”

    7. Oddly enough, Disney’s Hall of Presidents attraction has had a Hillary figure ready to go since 1996.

    6. Hearing a 9-year-old tell a 7-year-old his costume is culturally insensitive.

    5. The press rebrands the Affordable Care Act as the Holy-Cow-Talk-About-Sticker-Shock Care Act.

    4. Scientists discover that Trump’s hair is a living creature that controls the empty puppet underneath.

    3. Anthony Weiner: the dick that keeps on giving.

    2. E-mail discovered on Anthony Weiner’s computer reveals that his birth name was Anthony Vajayjay.

    1. Not a soul has come from the future to put a stop to this madness.

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  • Turning Point USA Irony

    Turning Point USA Irony

    Turning Point USA was founded in 2012 by Charlie Kirk and Bill Montgomery.

    Two of their major policy pushes were a more prominent gun culture and zero COVID restrictions.

    Bill Montgomery died to the COVID virus.

    Charlie Kirk died to gun violence.

  • A Stolen Car

    Two police officers stood beside a man who was bitterly crying.

    “Wow,” said one police officer, “he must have really loved that car.”

    “Not really,” said the other police officer. “It was five years old but fully insured. He’s crying because he just filled his gas tank.”

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  • Short Staffed

    I went to a restaurant run by midgets and the service was terrible.

    In their defense, they’re short staffed.

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  • Do You Swear? No.

    Do You Swear? No.

    judge: do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

    me: no

    judge: [covers mic] what do I do