In my obituary, please put “Got all choked up from how much he loved himself” instead of “auto-asphyxiated.” You know, for my parents.
Joke Type: observational
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Lesson learned: When ordering hookers, it is important to the specify that you want the
Lesson learned: When ordering hookers, it is important to the specify that you want the *quantity* bulk discount, not the *size* bulk discount.
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One week before Easter, my wife walked up to me and slapped me.
One week before Easter, my wife walked up to me and slapped me. I said, “What’s that all about?” She said, “Duh. It’s Palm Sunday.” I’m really dreading Fist Monday.
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Since this bed and breakfast claims it’s “just like home,” why am I sitting on the
Since this bed and breakfast claims it’s “just like home,” why am I sitting on the toilet and no one’s yet barged in asking where breakfast is or calling me “Mr. Stinkybottom”?
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Nowadays, it seems like a lot of people are dying of consumption in 19th century
Nowadays, it seems like a lot of people are dying of consumption in 19th century literature.
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Some days I just want to treat other people like they are bad guys in a video game.
Some days I just want to treat other people like they are bad guys in a video game. Sorry I exploded your head, slow walking asshole.
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I figured nothing says “Thank you” like a few nude photos.
I figured nothing says “Thank you” like a few nude photos. Apparently, though, the priest who married us would have preferred a simple card.
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I would love to see a female boxer in a “girl fight” at a bar.
I would love to see a female boxer in a “girl fight” at a bar. Nothing shuts up a mouthy drunk chick faster than being knocked unconscious by a professional.
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You’re saying you DON’T watch midget porn on your phone when you’re on the crapper at
You’re saying you DON’T watch midget porn on your phone when you’re on the crapper at work? Well excuse ME, your majesty! Greg Preece
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English if I ran it: A group of crows is called a “group.”
English if I ran it: A group of crows is called a “group.” A group of buffaloes is called a “group.” A group of catfish is called a “group.”
