Today I bought two bananas, an apple, and a pack of cigarettes. The cashier looked at me and said, “You must be single, huh?” And I’m like, “How do you know that?”
She said, “Because you’re ugly.”
Joke Type: observational
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Here Comes Trouble
Dad one sees dad two:
“oh no! here comes trouble!”
Dad two: “oh boy they let you out of the house?!”
Dads:
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Too Much Sex Memory Loss
“Having too much sex can cause memory loss.” I read it on page 37 in a medical journal in November 2006 at 4:19pm.
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Nose Grazes the Butt-Clit
When she’s slurping your meat from behind and her nose grazes your butt-clit ever so gently
I’m gonna squirt!
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Cookie Monster Wasting Cookies
rob elliott @rockymomax
The amount of cookies I’ve watched the Cookie Monster waste with his bullshit chewing makes me sick
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Love Shaq
“I can’t end my messages with ‘Love, Shaq’, because the B-52s ruined that for me”
~ Shaquille O’Neal
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Cookie Monster Waste
The amount of cookies I’ve watched the Cookie Monster waste with his bullshit chewing makes me sick.
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Mellencamp
When the dump is so big you accidentally give yourself a Mellencamp
mellencamp
To take a dump so large that the prostate is stimulated and the male ejaculates a little while taking the shit. Called a mellencamp because “it hurts so good.”
