Joke Type: one-liner

One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • It Will Be Missed

    I donated my old basketball hoop to the school for the blind.

    It will be missed.

  • It Was Instant

    A man died after falling into a vat of coffee.

    His wife told reporters, “At least he didn’t suffer — it was instant.”

  • If Your Girlfriend Starts Smoking

    If your girlfriend starts smoking….

    …slow down, and use a lubricant.

  • Jesus Doesn’t Drink

    Why doesn’t Jesus drink?

    Because the last time he got hammered, it took him 3 days to recover.

  • A Crusty Bus Station

    What’s the difference between a crab with breast implants and a transportation terminal?

    One’s a crusty bus station.

  • Cunning Stunts

    What’s the difference between a magician’s wand and a policeman’s taser?

    The magician’s wand is for cunning stunts.

  • Dad I’m Over Here

    My dad said, “Son, if you masturbate too much you’ll go blind.”

    And I was like, “Dad, I’m over here.”

  • If It Gets Any Worse I’ll Have to Let Her In

    Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the window.

    If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

  • Welcome To The Jungle Trees

    Welcome To The Jungle Trees

  • Habit Forming

    The national committee of tailors has issued a warning about making clothes for nuns.

    Apparently, it’s habit forming.