Joke Type: one-liner

One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • “There’s a one letter difference between ‘heroes’ and ‘herpes,’

    “There’s a one letter difference between ‘heroes’ and ‘herpes,’ so choose wisely, kids.” Why I’m not allowed to speak at schools anymore.

  • Swallow

    What bird doesn’t have kids?

    Swallow.

  • Gotta Hand It to Her

    My blind doctor is incredible at solving erectile dysfunctions.

    Gotta hand it to her.

  • Wrong on So Many Levels

    Did you hear about the elevator operator that kept making mistakes?

    He was wrong on so many levels.

  • A Brief Job

    I worked as an underwear model…

    It was just a brief job.

  • Without a Tres

    There was a Mexican magician. He said he’d disappear on the count of three. He said uno, dos, *poof*… he disappeared without a tres.

  • The Sperm Count

    An old man goes to the urologist to talk about having another child.

    The doctor says, “Do you know your sperm count?”

    The old man replies, “I didn’t know they could do math!”

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  • Barberqueue

    What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?

    A barberqueue.

  • Moo-spaper

    How do cows stay up to date?

    They read the moo-spaper.

  • Strongest Days

    Which days are the strongest?

    Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.