The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 4 people without any problems.”
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 4 people without any problems?”
Joke Type: one-liner
One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
-
Great Man Terrible Lifeguard
My dad used to tell me that you can’t save anyone; they have to save themselves.
Great man. Terrible lifeguard.
-
Seeing Someone on the Side
My buddy used to date a cross-eyed girl until he found out she was seeing someone on the side.
-
On the One Hand But On the Other
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts,’ which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.
-
Nearly Met Jesus
Hiking in your 70s is a great way to meet people.
Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist… and nearly met Jesus!
-
It Tastes Like Ass
If you’ve never tried donkey meat, don’t bother.
It tastes like ass.
-
Not Remotely Funny
I told a joke on a Zoom meeting and no one laughed.
It turns out I’m not remotely funny.
