One Liner Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

It’s Hard to Say

I told my wife I absolutely love Worcestershire sauce.

She asked what’s so special about it.

“It’s hard to say,” I answered.

I just asked my son what he learned today at school, and he told me, “Not enough, because I have to go back tomorrow.”

My doctor told me I could have a stroke at any time.

Now I’m a registered sex offender.

A man enters a confession box at late night.

Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.

“Father, I’ve sinned. I watch pornography 12 hours a day.”

The priest asks, “12 hours? How is that even possible?”

The man says, “Easy. Four hours in the morning, four in the evening, four at night.”

The priest asks, “Did you watch 12 hours today too?”

The man replies, “No, only 11 hours and 55 minutes.”

The priest asks, “Why is that?”

The man replies, “Because there is no Internet in the confession box.”

What does Popeye and a can of sardines have in common?

They both come in olive oil.

A guy came to the doctor, asking if he could help get a golf ball out of his ass.

“I don’t think I can. It’s up a fairway.”

I used to run a dating service for chickens but I had to shut it down.

I struggled to make hens meet.

Never trust a doorknob.

They’ll turn on you.

My father was an officer in the Army but he never showered.

He wanted to maintain his rank.

I asked the hot dog seller, “Can I get a jumbo sausage?”

He said, “Sure, won’t be long.”

I said, “In that case, can I have two?”