Joke Type: one-liner

One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • It Folded

    After I invested all my spare cash into an origami business, it folded.

  • A Remarkable Guy

    My friend Mark changed his name to something else, but now he’s thinking about changing it back.

    Truly a remarkable guy.

  • So Full of Himself

    Did you hear about the arrogant cannibal who started eating his own arms and legs?

    He was so full of himself.

  • This Thing Changes Everything

    I got a new universal remote last week and let me tell you, this thing changes everything.

  • Two No Shows But I Had Fun

    I had my first threesome tonight.

    There were two no shows but I had fun.

  • At the Finnish Line

    Where did the Helsinki marathon end?

    At the Finnish line.

  • Right Up There

    Not sure if a colonoscopy is the most painful medical procedure but it’s right up there!

  • The Last Thing You Want to Hear

    When I was getting my physical, at one point the doctor told me I’d feel a small prick.

    Definitely the last thing you want to hear before a prostate exam.

  • A Solid 10 But Also Imaginary

    My girlfriend is like the square root of -100.

    A solid 10, but also imaginary.

  • I Learned Next to Nothing

    I was so bored that I memorized six pages of the dictionary, and I learned next to nothing.