Joke Type: pun

Pun jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • You Know The Drill

    You Know The Drill

  • I’m Dreading It

    I’m not a hairdresser, but a friend of mine asked me to do their hair like a Rastafarian.

    I’m dreading it.

  • I Became Transparent

    When my son came out as a girl, I told her she could no longer see me.

    It’s cause I became transparent.

  • Dyslexia Poetry Jugs Vase

    Dyslexia Poetry Jugs Vase

  • Noah Glue Horse

    Noah Glue Horse

  • Its Driving Me Nuts

    A pirate walks into a bar with a small steering wheel attached to the front of his pants.

    The bartender says “Hey! You have a small steering wheel attached to the front of your pants!”

    “Arrr. I know,” replied the pirate. “It’s driving me nuts.”

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  • A MILF Shake

    What’s the term for getting a handjob from a single mom?

    A MILF shake.

  • Posterchild for Posterchildren

    I’m glad that there isn’t a disease where children are born with thin paper bodies. Although I guess it might be fun to be the posterchild for posterchildren.

  • Wouldnt I Wooden Eye

    There was a seaman who had a wooden eye because he was a tight mean bastard who refused to pay for a professionally made eyeball. However he was very sensitive about people making fun of his eyeball. One night after being at sea for several months and being tight with money, he thought he would try his luck at the local pubs for some pussy instead of going with the other guys to proposition some of the local prostitutes.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    He struck pay dirt by meeting a lady with the most marvelous figure. However, instead of her mouth going across her face, it went vertically straight up and down. On arriving back at the woman’s place and making small talk, the lady said she would like him to leave as she wanted her sleep.

    This got the seaman angry as he wanted some pussy and told her she wouldn’t have been any good in bed anyway. She yelled “WOULDN’T I” and the seaman thought she had said wooden eye, and being very sensitive about his eye he retorted “WHO ARE YOU CALLING WOODEN EYE CUNT FACE”.

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  • Y2KY Jelly

    The manufacturers of KY Jelly have announced that their product is now fully Year 2000 compliant.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    In the light of this they have now renamed it as: Y2KY Jelly.

    Said a spokesman: “The main benefit of this revision to our product, is that you can now insert four digits into your date instead of two.”

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