Joke Type: wordplay

Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Most Bobcats Not Named Bob

    Most Bobcats Not Named Bob

  • I Seriously Doubt My Mom Would Go for It

    I don’t think I could ever be “born again,” like some of those Evangelicals I see. I don’t remember much from the first time, but umbilical cords freak me out, and I seriously doubt my mom would go for it.

  • The Hard Disk

    Last night, my friends and I went to a geek strip club called “The Hard Disk.” Lame, you say? What if I told you they only charged $20 for a laptop dance?

  • The Top 16 Election Day Cocktails

    The Top 16 Election Day Cocktails

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    16. Mudslinger

    15. Non-Consensual Sex on the Beach

    14. Pina Clintada: coconut, pineapple, and $250K for access to the bartender

    13. Orange Whine Cooler

    12. The Jill Beer Stein: a “germ”-in beer stein filled with penicillin

    11. Slow Uncomfortable Grope Against the Wall

    10. Mai-Tais to Wall Street

    9. The Greatest: just toilet water, but believe me, everyone is saying it will be beautiful, the best cocktail you ever tasted

    8. BenghaZima

    7. The Gary Johnson: you’ll forget your troubles, foreign leaders, war zones…

    6. Margarita (that Mexico will pay for!)

    5. The Campaign Promise: an empty glass

    4. White Russian Who Got a Meeting With the Secretary of State Because He Contributed to Her Foundation

    3. Bloody Megyn

    2. Screwedover: orange juice with lots of bitters

    And the Number One Election Day Cocktail…

    1. Pervy Wallbuilder

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  • Mouse Mousse Way Too Much Food

    Mouse Mousse Way Too Much Food

  • Sarcasmandchit Bam A Lam

    Sarcasmandchit Bam A Lam

  • Never Yell Into A Vuvuzela

    Never Yell Into A Vuvuzela

  • Spelling Errors Urined

    Spelling Errors Urined

  • Sashimi Rolling They Hating

    Sashimi Rolling They Hating

  • How to Talk About Men & Still be Politically Correct

    How to Talk About Men & Still be Politically Correct

    He does not have a BEER GUT – He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

    He is not a BAD DANCER – He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN

    He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME – He investigates ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

    He is not BALDING – He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

    He is not a CRADLE ROBBER – He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

    He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK – He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

    He does not act like a TOTAL ASS – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

    He is not a SEX MACHINE – He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.

    He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG – He has SWINE EMPATHY.

    He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES – He has an INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENT.

    He is not afraid of COMMITMENT – He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

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