Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
A constipated man goes to the pharmacy for laxatives.
Man: “One box of laxatives, please?”
Pharmacist: “I’m sorry. We’re all out of stock.”
Man: “What, again?! How does this keep happening?! I’m desperate for some relief!”
Pharmacist: “Well, that’s tough shit, I’m afraid.”
Cut my leash into pieces
This is my bestest bork
Domestication
No Breeding
Cant give a heck
Cause they neutered my weenie
Do you have to have any special training to be a garbage man, or do you just pick it up along the way?
WANTED: A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
What do you call a stolen Tesla?
An Edison.
What do Winnie the Pooh, Alexander the Great, and Andre the Giant all have in common?
Same middle name.
I quit my job at the ice cream factory.
I refuse to work sundaes.
I just had a stack of toilet paper rolls fall on me in the supermarket.
It’s OK, though. Just some soft tissue damage.
I try to say ‘mucho’ when I am around my Hispanic friends.
It means a lot to them.
