Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Named Her Grandma
katie @skatie420
[showing off my new baby] we named her after my grandmother, her name is Grandma.
7:48 AM · 20 Apr 22 · Twitter for iPhone
380 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 3,939 Likes
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Why Didnt You Keep Him When You Took His Picture
Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted men. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
“Yes,” said the policeman. “The detectives want him very badly.”
So Little Johnny asked, “Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?”
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Interview Biggest Weakness
Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: I’d say my biggest weakness is listening.
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30 to 1 Odds
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
When the day came, Little Johnny and his daddy got in the car and headed for the zoo. They were gone most of the day, and as the sun was setting, they arrived home.
“So how was it?” his mother asked Little Johnny.
“Great!” Little Johnny replied.
“Did you and your father have a good time?” asked his mother.
“Yeah, Daddy really liked it a lot,” exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, “especially when one of the horses came racing home at 30 to 1 odds!”
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Not From the Diving Board
Little Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool.
“You’re not allowed to pee in the pool,” said the lifeguard. “I’m going to have to report you.”
“But everyone pees in the pool,” said Little Johnny.
“Maybe,” said the lifeguard, “but not from the diving board!”
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Sodium Joke NaBrO
Want to hear a joke about Sodium?
Na.
Want to hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite?
NaBrO.
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If You Drink Gin You Wont Have Worms
A science teacher set up a simple experiment to show her class the danger of alcohol. She set up 2 glasses, one containing water, the other containing gin. Into each she dropped a worm.
The worm in the water swam merrily around. The worm in the gin quickly died.
“What does this experiment prove?” she asked.
Little Johnny from the back row piped up: “It proves that if you drink gin you won’t have worms.”
