The older I get the more I understand why Peter was happy to dig ditches for a living at the end of Office Space
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Behold The Field Barren
BEHOLD THE FIELD IN WHICH I GROW MY FUCKS LOOK THOU VPON IT AND THOU SHALT SEE THAT IT IS BARREN.
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Spirit Animal Pig
The search is over… I found my spirit animal
Pig in Australia steals 18 beers from campers, gets drunk, fights cow.
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Too Weak Notice
I’ve decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights are too heavy.
I just handed in my too weak notice.
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All I Smell Is Molasses
A mole family was living in their mole hole: a daddy mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole.
They were just about to eat dinner when an overpowering smell wafted down the hole.
The daddy mole rushes to the entrance and says, “Mmmm, I smell strawberries!”
Momma mole runs beside him and says, “Ohhh, I smell blueberries!”
Baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole, but is stuck behind them, and says, “All I smell is molasses!”
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Is That All You People Think About
Two elderly Jewish men are strolling down the street one day, when they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign posted that says, “Convert to Catholicism and get $50.”
Murray stops and stares at the sign. Abe turns to him and says, “Murray, what’s going on?”
“Abe,” replies Murray, “I’m thinking of doing it.”
Abe says, “What are you, crazy?”
Murray thinks for a minute and says, “Abe, I’m going to do it.”
With that, Murray strides purposefully into the church and comes out twenty minutes later with his head bowed.
“So,” asks Abe, “did you convert?”
“Yes I did,” says Murray.
“Did you get your fifty dollars?” asks Abe.
And Murray says, “Is that all you people think about?”
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Yeehaw or Heeyaw
I need to know something: Is it “Yeehaw” or “Heeyaw”? I’m riding in my first rodeo and don’t want to sound like a total idiot.
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Spain and Portugal Fit Like a Glove
Continental drift is no mere theory; it is fact. Forget about trying to fit Africa and South America together — just look at how Spain’s jagged western border fits Portugal’s jagged eastern border like a glove. Coincidence? Please.
