My Uncle Larry once told me that you knew you had a good strong penis if you could lift weights with it. At least, that’s how I explained the whole bowling ball/SuperGlue incident to the ER staff.
Tone: deadpan
Deadpan humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I thought my goldfish would thank me for the pizza crusts but
I thought my goldfish would thank me for the pizza crusts but they just got all wobbly like they didn’t give a fuck.
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Is “gangbang” one word or two? I’m writing a letter to try and
Is “gangbang” one word or two? I’m writing a letter to try and get out of jury duty and I don’t wanna sound stupid.
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(Donald Junter) No matter what kind of day I have, by the end of
(Donald Junter) No matter what kind of day I have, by the end of the day my bra always smells like boobs.
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Minty Fresh Brains
I’ve made provisions in my will to be buried with a roll of breath mints. I figure if I should somehow become part of a zombie army roaming the earth, I may want something minty fresh to take the taste of brains out of my mouth.
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Family of Four
I was assigned female at birth and identify as a woman, but according to the back of the Kraft mac and cheese box I’m a family of four
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Grey and Comes in Pints
What’s grey and comes in pints?
An elephant.
