Why don’t dinosaurs make good pets?
Because they’re dead.
Tone: deadpan
Deadpan humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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After months and months of begging, I finally got to see my
After months and months of begging, I finally got to see my long-distance girlfriend’s amazing naked body via webcam today. Now I just pray she doesn’t find the hidden camera.
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I don’t know if “Topless Webcamming” can be considered a skill,
I don’t know if “Topless Webcamming” can be considered a skill, but what the fuck, it’s going on the resume.
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I got in trouble at the PTA meeting for suggesting “Wild, Hot
I got in trouble at the PTA meeting for suggesting “Wild, Hot and Horny” as the them for the pre-school auction. Those fucking pervs — I was talking about desert deer.
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Usually when I jot something down on my hand as a reminder, it’s
Usually when I jot something down on my hand as a reminder, it’s along the lines of, “Because of the infected calluses, use Lefty this week.”
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I’ve always felt that the breakfast hummer was the most
I’ve always felt that the breakfast hummer was the most important blowjob of the day.
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My wife can’t figure out why I love staying up late to do our
My wife can’t figure out why I love staying up late to do our taxes. What she doesn’t know is that my process involves writing “I.R.S.” on the forehead of a blow-up doll and repeatedly ramming it in the ass.
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(Jilly G.) It finally dawned on me that I had a sex addiction
(Jilly G.) It finally dawned on me that I had a sex addiction when I found myself asking the pharmacist what I could use to treat penis calluses.
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bowel movement and the series of “Batman” movies they made back
bowel movement and the series of “Batman” movies they made back in the 1990s: They both went on a lot longer than I expected.
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My boyfriend ran out on me. Luckily I’d used rechargeable batteries
My boyfriend ran out on me. Luckily I’d used rechargeable batteries.
