I met a genie who offered me one wish.
I said, “I wish I could be you.”
The genie replied,
“Weurd wush… but U wull grant ut.”
Tone: Playful
Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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All of the Letters I Had Hidden
My wife accused me of cheating after she found all of the letters I had hidden.
Now she refuses to play Scrabble with me.
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The Adult Toy Shop and the Checkered Thermos
The owner of an adult toy shop was training his new employee on the rules, how things worked, and the price list of their products.
“The only items without price tags are the dildos kept behind the cashier counter.
The white ones are $10, and the black ones are $25.
Everything else in the store already has the price marked on it.
Now, I’m heading out for a bit to take care of something important. I’ll be back in about an hour or two.”
Business went smoothly for an hour, until finally a customer asked about the items kept behind the counter.
“How much are those toys?”
“The white ones are $10, and the black ones are $25.”
“Oh, those are nice! How much is that one with the checkered pattern?”
Thinking quickly on his feet, the employee replied, “That one is $200.”
“SOLD! I’ll take it!”
An hour later, the owner returned and asked how business had been while he was gone.
“It was booming, Boss! I managed to sell five of the white ones and ten of the black ones. And I also got $200 for that checkered thermos of yours you had sitting back there!”
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Billy Ray and the Bottom Deodorant
Billy Ray walks into Walgreens and asks the pharmacist for some “Bottom deodorant” for his bottom.
“Sorry, we don’t sell bottom deodorant,” the pharmacist replies, trying to keep from laughing.
“Yeah but I always buy it here,” Billy Ray says. “I bought one last month. My wife gets hers from here too!”
Curious, the pharmacist suggests, “Look, I don’t know what y’all bought before, but maybe you can bring in the empty one of what y’all had next time you come in.”
“Sure thing,” Billy Ray says. “I’ll bring it in tomorrow.”
The next day, Billy Ray walks into Walgreens again and hands the pharmacist an almost empty deodorant stick.
“This is just a normal deodorant,” the man tells Billy Ray. “To use under your arms.”
“Oh no it is not,” Billy Ray answers. “Look here where it says: TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM.”
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Mrs Fire
I really miss Robin Williams. He was a legend!
Without a doubt my favorite movie of his was “Mrs Fire.”
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The Clean-Shaven Man and the Beard
A facially clean-shaven man asks his wife to try something naughty in the bedroom.
The horny couple dash upstairs…
“Get undressed and do a headstand by the full-length mirror.”
His wife excitedly complies…
The man rests his chin between her legs and starts umming and arring…
“What are you doing???” she asks, still excited….
“Well, I wanted to see what I looked like with a beard!”
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The Teen and the Exam Excuse
A smart-mouthed teen at the back of the class raised his hand and asked…
“Miss, what would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”
The entire class broke out in laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said… “Well, I would expect you to write the exam with your other hand.”
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Had to Pop the Trunk
I won a balloon elephant at the fair and it wouldn’t fit in the back seat of the car. So I had to pop the trunk.
