The Top 16 Penis Dishes (R-rated version)
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash ChaosTone: Playful
Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Top 16 Worst Movie Quotes to Utter During Sex
The Top 16 Worst Movie Quotes to Utter During Sex
16. “Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night!”
15. “All I wanna do is go the distance.”
14. “I know what you’re thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself.”
13. “It’s not a tumor!”
12. “I feel the need… the need for speed.”
11. “It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. It does this whenever it’s told.”
10. “My sister! My daughter! My sister! My daughter!”
9. “Say ‘hello’ to my little friend.”
8. “At that speed, will you be able to pull out in time?”
7. “We’re gonna need some more FBI guys, I guess.”
6. “I can’t hold ‘er anymore, Cap’n!”
5. “And I thought they smelled bad on the outside.”
4. “I call him ‘Mini-Me.’”
3. “We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious.”
2. “Look, man, I ain’t fallin’ for no banana in my tailpipe!”
1. “That’ll do, pig.”
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ] -
Top 14 Dream Wrestling Matches
The Top 14 Dream Wrestling Matches
14. Michael “The Glove” Jackson -vs- George “The Hand” Michael
13. Bob “Hacksaw” Villa -vs- Martha “Doily Queen” Stewart
12. “The First Lady” -vs- “The Most Recent Lady”
11. Edward Scissorhands -vs- John Bobbit
10. Carrot Top -vs- Bugs Bunny
9. Drescher -vs- Gottfried — in a Zero-Contact Whine-a-thon Death Cage Match!
8. Arnold Schwarzenegger -vs- The English Language
7. Pat “Captain Vanilla” Sajak -vs- Alex “Oh, I’m Sorry” Trebek
6. Bill “The Adulterer” Clinton -vs- Bill “The Atoner” Clinton
5. Monica “Hummer” Lewinsky -vs- Orrin “We Still Call it Sodomy in This State” Hatch
4. The Norelco Santa -vs- The Mach3 Studmuffin
3. Vanilla Ice -vs- The Crips
2. Ron “McBigfoot” McDonald -vs- Colonel “Open A Can o’ Whup-Ass” Sanders
1. The predominately female and nearly naked “Baywatch” cast -vs- The predominately male and socially awkward Top5 contributors
[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List http://www.topfive.com ] -
Top 14 Adult Film Star Nicknames
The Top 14 Adult Film Star Nicknames
14. Jack Titanic
13. Willy Wanka
12. Delores Galores
11. Randy “The Groin from Des Moines” Mann
10. Analstasia
9. Nattily Wood
8. Chuck “Big Gun” Heston
7. Rosie Buttrash
6. me me cummings
5. Gonore’ de Balsac
4. Jock Full O’Nuts
3. Monty Fuller
2. Jennifer Love T’Dewitt
1. Stiffen King -
Top 17 Safe Porn Movies
The Top 17 Safe Porn Movies (R-rated)
17. Cold Shower Mountain
16. The Abstinent-Minded Professor
15. The Silence of the Loins
14. Mickey Blue Balls
13. Boys on the Side of Caution
12. Full Metal Chastity Belt
11. Harry Potter and the Extremely Dog-Eared Issue of Swank
10. The Longest Yawn
9. Emmanuelle Goes Pennsylvania Dutch
8. Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice… Have a Lovely Game of Bridge
7. Bone Alone
6. Fakin’ 2: Battery-Operated Boogaloo
5. Debbie Does Bupkis
4. Papa’s Celibate Condition
3. White Men Can’t Hump
2. Girl on Girl, Interrupted
1. All Quiet on the Wankin’ Front
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ] -
Top 12 Cartoon Character Pick-Up Lines
The Top 12 Cartoon Character Pick-Up Lines
12. Wimpy — “I’d gladly pay you Tuesday for a hummer today.”
11. Foghorn Leghorn — “Ah say, boy, ah say, you’ve got it all wrong. Those little chickens you’ve been chasing around are roosters. What you want is a big ol’ hen, like me.”
10. Bart Simpson — “Eat my shorts, ma’am!”
9. Batman — “Wanna help to dispel those nasty rumors about me and the Boy Wonder?”
8. Speedy Gonzales — “Senorita, it’s just a nickname!”
7. Pepe LePew — “But, mon cherie — I don’t smell any worse than anyone else in France.”
6. Ross Perot — “I’m worth $4 billion.”
5. Porky Pig — “L-L-Let’s go back to my place and f-f-f-f-f-f-f-fu-f-f-fu… hump.”
4. Popeye — “I’m strong to the finish ’cause I takes Viagra!”
3. Pinocchio — “Hey, I *am* a woody!”
2. Underdog — “My heart is for you, my Polly, dear; You are pure and true, can I sniff your rear?”
1. Tweety Bird — “I wuuuv to eat putty!”
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Two Kinds of Booty
It’s funny how the hip-hop “booty” is different from the old-time pirate “booty” — yet if you have either of them, you can pretty easily get the other.
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Beethoven Did He Listen
Never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do
Just look at Beethoven, everyone told him he would never be a musician, just because he was deaf. But did he listen?
